When it Feels Like Nothing is Happening
March is confusing.
It is a real crapshoot as to what type of weather you may get on any given day. It’s a month of transition as winter gives way to spring.
Most March days, in Michigan at least, are grey and just cold enough to not feel comfortable being outside for long. The rain could easily turn to snow or slush. Everything just feels stalled: not quite winter, but certainly not yet spring.
It feels like there is nothing happening when I look outside my window.
We had an unusually sunny day this weekend and I got outside and started cleaning up parts of my garden. They were covered in about four inches of wet dead leaves from the previous season. As I collected the leaves into piles, I was surprised to uncover sprouts of this year’s daffodils and iris. I’m not sure why I was so surprised because they sprout every year around this time.
Perhaps it was because when I looked out, all I could see was the dead leaf covering. It wasn’t until I took the time to dig through, clear and uncover it that I realized this entire time there was newness growing under the surface. It was happening the entire time - I just wasn’t aware of it. I wasn’t looking for it. I made assumptions about what was and wasn’t happening based on one quick glance from a distance.
Therapy can feel like this.
There are seasons where it may seem like nothing is happening. The change isn’t here yet. The struggle is still present and you may be wondering if anything is even happening each week because when we look, all we see is a thick covering of waiting, of loss, of disappointment, of depression of whatever has piled up from this last season.
Newness, springtime life, takes time to sprout. And it does so quietly, under the surface, when it seems like everything is stalled and covered in wet, cold, grey.
Being in therapy is like having someone to help you clear the leaves. We may help you gather up the piles, or even provide you with the rake, but we aren’t the ones who make the new thing sprout. Our job is to help you uncover the new thing, to give it space to grow.
When it looks like nothing is happening, pay attention, you may just be surprised by what is uncovered.